the-all-nerd

Q: Do I have to kill the snake?
A: University guidelines state that you have to “defeat” the snake. There are many ways to accomplish this. Lots of students choose to wrestle the snake. Some construct decoys and elaborate traps to confuse and then ensnare the snake. One student brought a flute and played a song to lull the snake to sleep. Then he threw the snake out a window.

Q: Does everyone fight the same snake?
A: No. You will fight one of the many snakes that are kept on campus by the facilities department.

Q: Are the snakes big?
A: We have lots of different snakes. The quality of your work determines which snake you will fight. The better your thesis is, the smaller the snake will be.

Q: Does my thesis adviser pick the snake?
A: No. Your adviser just tells the guy who picks the snakes how good your thesis was.

Q: What does it mean if I get a small snake that is also very strong?
A: Snake-picking is not an exact science. The size of the snake is the main factor. The snake may be very strong, or it may be very weak. It may be of Asian, African, or South American origin. It may constrict its victims and then swallow them whole, or it may use venom to blind and/or paralyze its prey. You shouldn’t read too much into these other characteristics. Although if you get a poisonous snake, it often means that there was a problem with the formatting of your bibliography.

Q: When and where do I fight the snake? Does the school have some kind of pit or arena for snake fights?
A: You fight the snake in the room you have reserved for your defense. The fight generally starts after you have finished answering questions about your thesis. However, the snake will be lurking in the room the whole time and it can strike at any point. If the snake attacks prematurely it’s obviously better to defeat it and get back to the rest of your defense as quickly as possible.

Q: Would someone who wrote a bad thesis and defeated a large snake get the same grade as someone who wrote a good thesis and defeated a small snake?
A: Yes.

Q: So then couldn’t you just fight a snake in lieu of actually writing a thesis?
A: Technically, yes. But in that case the snake would be very big. Very big, indeed.

Q: Could the snake kill me?
A: That almost never happens. But if you’re worried, just make sure that you write a good thesis.

Q: Why do I have to do this?
A: Snake fighting is one of the great traditions of higher education. It may seem somewhat antiquated and silly, like the robes we wear at graduation, but fighting a snake is an important part of the history and culture of every reputable university. Almost everyone with an advanced degree has gone through this process. Notable figures such as John Foster Dulles, Philip Roth, and Doris Kearns Goodwin (to name but a few) have all had to defeat at least one snake in single combat.

Q: This whole snake thing is just a metaphor, right?
A: I assure you, the snakes are very real.

"The Snake Fight Portion of Your Thesis Defense" by Luke Burns (via inevitablerecursion)
the-all-nerd
misti-k:

sparkafterdark:

glumshoe:

sparkafterdark:

tenaflyviper:

He is, however, perfectly willing to fuck with time and reality.
And also steal your infants.

He didn’t steal anything. She literally asked him to take the baby. Don’t make him the bad guy just because she was a shitty sister.

I think you are severely misinformed as to how baby ownership works.
It was not her baby to give.
David Bowie is unquestionably the villain.

Which do you think existed first, modern custody legislature, or the goblin king? 
The girl was entrusted by her parents with the care and custody of the child. By the laws governing the goblin king and his transactions, the girl was the current rightful owner of the child and made a deal with the king to take the child. Perhaps you’re not familiar with english folklore. Fae have rules, they’re tricksters, they can be sneaky, but they never break the rules.

All of this. YES.

misti-k:

sparkafterdark:

glumshoe:

sparkafterdark:

tenaflyviper:

He is, however, perfectly willing to fuck with time and reality.

And also steal your infants.

He didn’t steal anything. She literally asked him to take the baby. Don’t make him the bad guy just because she was a shitty sister.

I think you are severely misinformed as to how baby ownership works.

It was not her baby to give.

David Bowie is unquestionably the villain.

Which do you think existed first, modern custody legislature, or the goblin king? 

The girl was entrusted by her parents with the care and custody of the child. By the laws governing the goblin king and his transactions, the girl was the current rightful owner of the child and made a deal with the king to take the child. Perhaps you’re not familiar with english folklore. Fae have rules, they’re tricksters, they can be sneaky, but they never break the rules.

All of this. YES.

straight-as-a-curly-fry

feministbatwoman:

huffingtonpost:

Columbia University Student Will Drag Her Mattress Around Campus Until Her Rapist Is Gone

"I think the act of carrying something that is normally found in our bedroom out into the light is supposed to mirror the way I’ve talked to the media and talked to different news channels, etc," Emma continues in the full video which you can watch here. 

So, I just want to go into HOW MUCH Columbia and the NYPD has failed, and revictimized, Emma Sulkowitz.

In her school hearing, Sulkowitz ” had to explain to the three administrators on the panel how anal rape worked. She told them she had been hit across the face, choked and pinned down, but, she said, one still seemed confused about how it was possible for someone to penetrate her there without lubricant. Sulkowicz said she had to draw them a diagram.”

"Her best friend was meant to be at the hearing; Sulkowicz had chosen her as her one “supporter.” But her friend was kicked out of that role for talking about the case, according to Sulkowicz, in violation of the university’s confidentiality policy. As punishment, her friend was also put on probation and made to write two reflection papers: one from the perspective of Sulkowicz and another from the accused."

FROM THE PERSPECTIVE
OF HER FRIEND’S RAPIST

- Two other women at Columbia have accused this guy of sexual assault/rape. But he’s been found not responsible in all instances, and is still on campus

- When she went to the police, one officer said: “”You invited him into your room. That’s not the legal definition of rape.”

- Another officer told her friends, who came with her: ““For every single rape I’ve had, I’ve had 20 that are total bull——,” he added. “It’s also my type of job to get to the truth. If that means being harsh about it, that’s what I do.”

And that’s.
Why.
People.
Don’t.
REPORT.

I want to set literally everything on fire.

yansquid

yansquid:

coelasquid:

Cockeyed.com is one of my favourite websites on the internet, run by an armchair scientists who goes out and does a practical experiment for whatever question stuck in his craw on a particular day, and tries to make practical frames of reference for comprehending numbers and amounts that people don’t normally try to think about. Among the crowning achievements of the site are the photographic height and weight chart made out of unedited, self-submitted photos of real people and the journal of his adventure turning a 12 foot satellite dish into a mirrored parabola death ray to zap things like pop tarts and bars of soap with.

Anyway, I was particularly entertained by their story of wanting to be able to visualize how much blood is in an average adult human by going out to dump six quarts of fake blood at the end of a dead-end street, only to be disappointed by the fairly unimpressive 36 square feet the blood stain covered after they spent the afternoon trying to rake it out by hand to look as big and scary as possible.

Horror writers take note, there isn’t nearly as much blood as you think inside a person.

That’s kinda disappointing :(

I mean… From an artistic point of view.

straight-as-a-curly-fry

notyourexrotic:

kitten-pants:

tinasus:

notyourexrotic:

HP Goblet of Fire Headcanon: Beauxbatons was primarily a Muslim wizarding school.

(photo from livesandliesofwizards, which was the first thing I thought of when I ran into this passage while rereading the Harry Potter books)

(and yes I know the horses drink whisky, which is not exactly halal, sshhh)

Its was french. It s
Was so clearly french.

Literally French. …….

….
.

Because French Muslims do not exist and no Muslims ever speak French and Muslim schools don’t exist in France and if they do they must be really shitty and there are no key Muslim educators in France at all and there’s never been any history of Islamic culture and politics in the Pottermore-confirmed Pyreenes, nooooooo, it is très impossible! Astagfirrulah!

except…NO.

learn some fuckin’ social studies and history and current affairs, people.

neonqueendom

grand-duchess-olga-nikolaevna:

I ran screaming through the house OMGG THEY IDENTIFIED JACK THE RPIER 

THIS IS HISTORY AND WY I LOVE IT

ni shut the fuckup about Albert Victor being the killer

straight-as-a-curly-fry

whatthecurtains:

cthullhu:

nonomella:

Coraline is a masterfully made film, an amazing piece of art that i would never ever ever show to a child oh my god are you kidding me

Nothing wrong with a good dose of sheer terror at a young age

"It was a story, I learned when people began to read it, that children experienced as an adventure, but which gave adults nightmares. It’s the strangest book I’ve written"

-Neil Gaiman on Coraline

straight-as-a-curly-fry

aresnakesreal:

like imagine if you’d never seen a dog and you saw a saint bernard and you were like, what’s that and then someone was like, thats a dog. and then you saw a chihuahua and you were like ok whats that and they were like, that’s a dog. wouldn’t you feel lied to? wouldn’t you sense that something was amiss